Moving Children

When it comes to moving with children

Explain clearly to the children why the move is necessary.
Encourage your children to express their feelings, and be honest about your own feelings.
Encourage older children to make list of phone numbers and addresses of friends, relatives, and other important people in their lives to let them stay in touch with these important people.
Talk about the move as an adventure that will have exciting new discoveries
Familiarize the children as much as possible with the new area with maps, photographs or the daily newspaper.
Take your children to see the new location before you move and take a walk in the new neighborhood together.
Put up a large calendar so children can mark off each day until the move.
Describe advantages of the new location that the child might appreciate such as a lake, mountain or an amusement park.
If your children are learning an activity or craft or are in groups they enjoy, make contact with these in the new area.
Teach your children their new address and phone number.
Keep a big list in a place where everyone can see the steps and stage of the move. Older children can write the things that are important to them on the list.
Make a special book about the move, with stories, photos tickets..
Involve your children in the packing. Try to stick to your routines. Have family dinners as usual. Let your kids take with them in their own bags things that they don't want to pack, such as blankets or special toys.
After the move, get involved with the children in activities of the local church or synagogue, PTA, scouts, YMCA, etc.
If a son or daughter is a senior in high school, consider the possibility of letting him or her stay with trusted family friends until the school year is over.
Ask your kids how they are doing in school and encourage them to talk about the difficulties.

What to watch for

Children express unresolved grief with anger, a sense of helplessness, and plain resentment. Another observed behaviour is an extreme passive attitude toward the move and the new cultural environment. Some children, driven by fear of remaining an outsider, urgently want to "put themselves on the map," and end up being perceived as difficult or even hyperactive.

Children may feel hesitant to discuss their struggles with their parents, either out of concern over adding another problem onto the shoulders of their parents who are juggling many issues as it is, or because of initial denial of potential problems expressed by the parents prior to the move.

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